Finals...

So three of the four finals are completed. Unfortunately, that means that the hardest one is left for tomorrow.... Hopefully things will go well. I already found out one grade so that is good. I ended up with a C in Finance, which is a whole grade higher than what I expected, so that is exciting. Hopefully my other grades will turn out as expected. I leave for Portland tomorrow night, which is exciting and stressful all at once. Stressful because I have a final that morning, and exciting because I get to go home for a while. Well I should be studying....

Everything...

So things are starting to be a little bit better, still rough, but progress is being made. Saturday will be 2 years with Britton and it's kinda weird to think that we've been together for that long already. But I'm excited, we are going to a club in Denver and out to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. It should be a lot of fun. School is going alright, I've been using this time off to study and really take some good notes for my more difficult classes. Hopefully this will help bring up my grades and I'll feel better about spending my time and money on school. Hopefully I can really start making some progress personally, in a reasonable amount of time.

AHHHH!

So things have not slowed down one bit for me lately. School is proving to be more and more difficult as time goes on, and so does life.... Anyway I am anxiously awaiting Christmas break for some time when I don't have homework or work or anything to do. For those who know of my driving anxiety, as I call it, I have decided to see a counselor to find out what is going on and see what I can do to help calm myself down in the car. Also I have decided to drop a class so I can focus on stuff and have enough time in the week to work so i can pay all of my bills. As for my sanity I think it's gone I haven't made it through a single day in two weeks without having a breakdown.... things just aren't doing good at all right now, I will no longer be answering no everything is fine. So unless you want the entire sob story don't ask, just no more covering it up... I just can't take it. And no this is not my "cry for help" I'm just being honest and I'm tired of trying to do everything and make it sound like I'm doing so well, because really I'm not. Well hopefully with the dropped class things will start slowing down so I can sleep and maybe find some time to enjoy myself...

Busy, Busy, Busy

So I have booked my flights for christmas, dec 14th thru jan 3rd. School is absolutely insane right now, but this week is almost over so that is good... I will try to update this sometime this weekend, but no one hold me to it. Oh and by the way, I have officially lost an inch all over, so that is exciting to know that my 7am wake up call to go work out is paying off. I'll update soon!

School

So school has officially begun for my junior year of college... kinda scary huh? Well things are going a little better (the ongoing war) but with school I feel as if there is some direction. I've decided that direction is good. So just an update my family came out to visit for a week, which was a ton of fun. We have lots of pictures, which are located on Zack's picture site. It was nice to have my family with me and finally they got to see the wonderful state of Colorado. It's pretty, but not quite as pretty as home.... Britton's family finally got to meet my family, so that is cool, but it only took 2 years... :) Things are feeling a little bit better overall now that school is starting and getting to the gym on a regular basis. Also in case not everyone knows my birthday is in two days!!!! I am especially excited because Britton's family is coming up from Littleton to celebrate with me. Well I should do some work now, I'll try and keep this better updated for those of you reading. Adios!

The Great War

There is a war going on right now, unfortunately it is inside me. I feel like a lost solider, not knowing where to turn, who's side I'm on or anything. I've been pretty depressed for a while now and I'm getting to the point of where I'm tired of trying to get out of it. I don't really know where to go from here, but I promise to keep moving on, in hopes of finding my way out.

Venture Camp

So I'm home for Venture Camp until the 13th. If anyone would like to get together let me know asap!

Sleep

So I haven't been able to sleep for a few weeks now... Does anyone have any ideas of how to sleep through the night and be able to wake up in the mornings?? I've been sleeping but I can't wake myself up and it's like I only sleep in the mornings because I'm waking up like 3 times a night until 4 am but then I can't seem to wake myself up out of these crappy nightmares. If anyone has ANY suggestions please let me know.... I need some freakin sleep!!

Stress...

So it's official, stress really sucks.... Not that I've ever really been a big fan or anything but it just sucks. You get all tense, your neck hurts, then you take everything personally.... which apparently when someone refuses to speak with you, you really shouldn't take that personally.
Not really a point to this post just the fact that stress is no fun especially when you are not even in school so therefore there should not be any STRESS!!!!!

Life...

After having some one on one time with my computer, who I have completely neglected for some time now, I have attempted to remember what life was like before cell phones and the internet. Well quite frankly, I don't remember, and it makes things more difficult for me.
So I'm kind of realizing that I don't really know where I'm going in life. In the past I've always had these plans that halfway work out for me. I know that I'm going to school to get an education but I'm dreading the questions of where I'm headed after this. I always thought that I would know exactly what I would do next or where I would be headed. As the real world is thumping me upside the head I find that I really don't know much as to my future, yet somehow I'm not too concerned.
I know that I have a few options once school is done, but not having any definite want to go anywhere is kinda scaring me. But I'm sure I'll get some hair brain of an idea and want to go or do something completely different from before.
Another side thought, thinking about all those childhood friendships and crushes... it's funny how way back when you think that the world will never change and everything that will be the same forever. But then one stupid little thing happens and the world is completely upside down. I wonder about how things would have gone if I was still friends with everyone that I promised would be my best friend... What if no one ever changed what they wanted to do? or who they wanted to be best friends with. Where would everyone be? What would everyone be doing?
I regret absolutely nothing from my life, but those little questions tend to seep back into my mind.
Life is great and I have been blessed with many things: my family, my friends, my hobby, my boyfriend.
I was told that to regret something is bad, but is it really, maybe it is just a disguise for hope of a misplaced road in life.
Apparently there comes a time when you need to look back and say the past is the past and now is the time to start over. Start new and fresh everyday. Don't worry about what happened yesterday, accept it and move forward. This thought might be easy for some, but extremely hard for others. Who are you? some? others?
There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to this post just some random thoughts that mill about in my brain when I think of my future or my past. Fortunately the past is done, so no need to worry and the future is tomorrow, which is tomorrows adventure.

Home!

So for those of you who didn't know, I went back home last weekend. It was drew's birthday so I thought that I would surprise him. I had a lot of fun at home. I got to spend some quality time with everyone.
Work is keeping me really busy. I started training for the new position that I'm taking over for in July. So learning all this new stuff is proving to be information overload.
Otherwise things are going alright. It is really hot here in colorado, like 93 degrees.... I'm not sure that I miss the rain at all..... Well I should get going because I brought home work so... Ciao!
Oh and good luck mom with your interview!!

Off to Littleton!

So I'm off to Littleton so I can see Britton. So I probably won' t be blogging for a week or so... but most of you know why!!! he he I'm so excited! Adios!!!

Hmmmm

So in two days I will be really, really happy!!!! And something that I've noticed is that my blogging has been getting less frequent these days, but I guess I've just been really busy with work and everything. Also there will be quite a vacant space in my blogs starting in two days, but soon enough they will pick up again. I'll try and type more later!!! Adios!

A Week from Today!!!!!

So I am officially done with my old apartment!!! Yipee!!!! And I bought a Zune, I've been saving for a while... and all I can say is a week from today will be awesome!!!! I can't wait!!!! Adios! I've got way too many errands to run!

My Camera!!

So I got my digital Camera yesterday!!!! It's way exciting!! Although I haven't found much to take pictures of besides me and my models that I've been painting. Thanks to mom and zack for getting it for me!!! :) Don't worry I will send lots and lots of pictures!!! Maybe I'll even post some stuff on here... well gotta run, lots of errands today!! Talk to you later!!!

It's been a long Weekend

So I had 3 whole days, and I really didn't know what to do with myself, lucky others felt that they could step in and utilize my free time! But I want to let everyone know that I got a very important phone call today, someone is willing to take my apartment on Friday, which means I don't have to borrow any money to pay that rent! I'm so excited! Hopefully everything works out this time. Oh and I did run yesterday but I woke up today feeling very very sick, so I didn't run today. I think my allergies are really getting out of hand.
Oh so yesterday B and my roommates and I all went to Jay's parents house for a BBQ, and guess who forgot that they have two beautiful Huskies?, me! So they have two dogs that are just gorgeous, and both did I get my fix from not having Kodi around. Although they are breeding their dogs one last time this year, too bad I can't have any pets huh?? Needless to say I spent more time with the dogs than people yesterday, but it was lots of fun! Well I should get going to work, I'm sure there is tons of stuff for me to do! Adios!

A Whole Week!!

So it's been like a week since I've posted, bad I know.... And really I don't even have an excuse.
Although I've been thinking about a few things: I think it's funny how fast we get into certain habits or rituals, and how fast those things can be forgotten or disrupted. I'll elaborate a little... The whole running 5 days a week is great, and this week started off really well, I was even able borrow Britton's ipod so I had some music, but then everything went down the shoot.... I had to rearrange my work schedule because some people were taking vacay, so that meant no more leisurely mornings and getting up at 6am just to get to work on time. haha well that didn't work out so well, needless to say running didn't happen thursday or friday. It sucks but they also mowed the lawn, which is a lot of lawn, and when I left for work I was still sneezing two hours later. But I really do plan on running again on Monday, I actually have begun enjoying the run in the mornings.
Really it's odd how quickly you become accustomed to things, for instance my whole morning routine, its really quite lengthy and apparently I don't enjoy anything but that time to myself. (I've been very grumpy the last half of this week, lack of sleep and waking up time I think)
I've recently realized just how important communication and respect is.... respect is a funny thing, you always want it for yourself, but its very difficult to hand out to others. sometimes I just wish that I could make others understand how important respect is and just how far it will get you. I think its sad that some people just don't see how much is can mean to someone else.
I suppose I'll end this one, only because the boys are cooking and I think they are burning the food, I guess you just can't leave things to others to get done..... but thats another issue for another day! Ciao!

The Weekend!

Alright, I made it through 5 days straight of running... I'm very happy about that. And not to mention I'm starting to feel much better about myself. Hopefully I can keep this up and continue to run during the week.
As for my apartment, the girl who was going to take it decided not to, so I'm still paying for it until July, but I've been saving my money so hopefully I will be able to pay all of my bills.
And for those of you at home, I will be making a surprise appearance, sometime in the very close future, so you will know when you see me!! hehe I'm very excited.... :)
Well I guess I should be going because I am cooking lunch... :)
Oh and in case I didn't already mention this, my final grades were 3 A's and 2 B's, not exactly what I was hoping for but my gpa did increase, so I can't complain. Adios!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my mom's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Mom! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!
And just so everyone knows... I ran again today, so I'm very proud of myself.... hopefully this is a habit I can keep. Well again I don't have much to say but I'm going to try and find a doctor up here today, so hopefully that search goes well.... Adios!!!

I did it!!

So it's official, I ran for two days in a row!!! woo hoo!!! I'm so freakin sore though, I rediscovered muscles that I forgot I even had! Any way not much new going on, just trying to get into a schedule now that school is over... I guess I'm more of a creature of habit than I thought! Well I should get going cause I need to go to the bank before work.

Free Monday

Today is the first official day of freedom from school.... The first Monday of the summer!!! woo hoo Well I don't really have much to say but that I am procrastinating from running, which I should be doing.... but I'm really tired, and bored, and I have errands to run. run, ha ha ha Well I hope everyone had a good weekend, I did. I suppose I'll attempt at this whole running thing :(

Mother's Day

Mother's what a special title, and what a special person. No one can ever compare to the warmth, care and love of a mother. My mom is always there for me when I need her, and even sometimes when I think that I don't. She always knows how to bring a smile across my face, especially over the phone these days... :) Today I wish for my mom to have a wonderful day and to know everything that she does is important and meaningful. Mom is someone who can't be replaced, ever, but as I grow older someone I strive to follow in her footsteps. As disappointed as I am that I can't be at home with my mom, I want her to know that she is missed incredibly and I can't wait to see her. I love you mom, and I hope that you have a wonderful week and an incredible day!

Finals are done!!!

So finals are done and most of the grades are in.... and the important thing is that I got an A in accounting, but I do have at least one B, the crappy thing is that its by 1%. I needed like 3 more points on the exam :( But hopefully everything else is an A, which they should, although there is one that is on the border but there's still hope... So i guess I fail at that whole straight A kick, but I'm damn close, so I think I'll still celebrate like I am :)
I went to work today and I am even more excited about working there this summer. I have a lot of new ideas that I would like to try out to make things work smoother there. Most of all I think that I'm just excited to run my own little store :)
I am soo ready to embrace the summer and work and everything else... plus I'm excited that its closer to July! Well I'm gonna clean up my mess before dinner! Adios!!

Jumbled :)

So I guess I was a little whinny and tired yesterday... sorry!!! :) So tonight I'm making a pork stir fry... it's going to be delicious!!! I'm very excited about this. And lets see all that I have left is a final tomorrow morning and I'm all done for a while.... I am really excited. Summer. What a beautiful word!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me... haha I know there has always been something wrong with me but ya know here me out... So for the past few days I've been really, really hot, like I'm not wearing a hoodie and jeans kind of hot, like shorts and t-shirts. Any way its like any where I go I'm burning up, even standing under a light too long..... so I had Britton see if my forehead was warm to him, because of course it was to me, and he said that I was really warm and should go see a doctor... So that leads me to the conclusion that something is wrong, that and my allergies are killing me.... So the conclusion, I'm on the hunt for a doctor here in Fort Collins.... any ideas??
And just so someone besides me knows, I've decided that I would like to start running in the mornings. Not like a marathon or anything but some sort of physical activity.... It should work out pretty well with my work schedule and everything so I'll try to get that started and let everyone know how that goes.... maybe this way I'll actually do it!
Oh and just one more rant before I go, since when it is okay to charge $110 for a stinking pair of sandals???? I think that is completely retarded, I'll have to save up for months just to get the sandals without going into debt.
Anyway I'm out cause I gotta pick up my room while I still have the energy. Ciao!

Tuesday!!

Today is Tuesday and I'm done with finals for the day!! I'm very excited about that. Also I made some money off of my books that I no longer need!! And I'm not doing anything school related at all for the rest of the day!!! Don't worry I have all day tomorrow to study for my final on Thursday... I feel very confident about my exams so far, I think that I was very well prepared and hopefully all that studying will pay off with some A's :)
Well I believe this will be a short one too, just because my tummy is much more important right now, and quite frankly so is a nap.... I got up at 6am and have been up ever since, only 7 hours but I couldn't sleep last night and I kept dreaming in Spanish... blah... Anywho, tomorrow will be a new day and a new post. Ciao!

A break was in order....

So I didn't post yesterday because I didn't know what I was going to say, it was like my brain was empty.... it must have been all of the school stuff taking over... My first final of the week is this morning so I've been busy studying so far.
For those who asked, my cinco de mayo party went really well, I ended up making 5 pans of enchiladas, so we have plenty to eat for this week. :) We had fun playing games, after the food of course.
Oh and I still haven't heard back from the girl who wants my apartment, but she has finals too and I'm sure that shes focusing on studying too.... well lets hope so at least.
Well I know its short but I really should get back to studying... And I probably won' t post until tomorrow afternoon seeing as how I have a final at 7 am and one following at 11am.
I almost forgot.... my brother now has a blog, here is the site http://unspoken-eyes.blogspot.com/
Hey Zack I hope it's okay if I posted that.... :)
Adios!

Cinco De Mayo!!

So it is Saturday morning before finals, and instead of furiously studying, I'm sitting here typing. Don't worry I'll study as soon as I'm done. I really can't believe that it's Saturday though, the week seemed to just take forever! So all I have are finals next week and I'm free, well for the summer at least.
Had that showing of the apartment last night, which went pretty well. She said that she would get back to me soon so, hopefully she'll take it.
Tonight my roomies and I are having a Cinco De Mayo party, I'm making enchiladas... they will be delicious, I really can't wait.
Well I suppose that there isn't too much new going on with me, but I really should get my study on if I want to keep all those A's....
Adios!

Good Morning!

Good Morning to all!!! It's finally Friday!!! I'm just a little bit excited about that cause that means this will be my last four hour block of class on a Friday afternoon.
So I wanna say thanks to everyone that has been commenting, it makes me feel special.
I found someone that just wants to finish out my lease for the apartment so that means that technically I'm still liable but she seems pretty responsible. I have a meeting today at four to show the space and talk with the managers. I'll try and let yall know how that turns out tomorrow! Well I must be going because I have to finish cleaning the apartment before tonight. Adios!

It's Finally Thursday!!

Alright, it is officially Thursday May 3rd, 2007.... why is that a good thing you ask well because I only have one class today and within exactly 7 days, count them 7, I will be on summer vacation!!!! woo hoo!!!! I'm just a little bit excited for this I think, but this semester has been pretty difficult. Anyway only 4 finals left and only 5 more hours of class time!!!
I suppose this will be a short blog because I woke up late and need to get to work... plus my breakfast is gone so really there's no more stalling!!
Oh yeah I almost forgot, I found someone to rent my apartment and the best part of it all I get $300 of my deposit back by august!!!! Yippee!!!
Alright I'm really done this time..... :)

A new day

So today is a new day.... kinda weird, but it has nothing to do with yesterday and nothing to do with tomorrow, it is just today.
On my little quote calendar today says "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves" Sir James M. Barrie said that. I found this enlightening this morning as I rolled out of bed. Just to realize that by making others happy you can't help but make yourself happy.... or something similar to that at least. Just something to think about I suppose.
The realization that my sophomore year of college is almost over, and within 8 days I will be free from school for a few months, is a little weird. I can't believe it has gone by so fast, even though at times it seems to take forever! Before you know it I'll be graduating!! haha nice thought huh? :)
My recent attitude has been a little grumpy lately with people I care about. I'm not exactly sure why but I've decided, in light of my quote of the day, that I will try not to dwell on the little things. And attempt not to completely stress out over finals next week. I'll let you know how that goes....
Well I must get going and work on my numerous study guides for next week but I hope everyone has a great day and can spread a little sunshine to someone they care about!

Summer Plans

I figure I should update on my plans for this summer, thanks for the nudge aunt beth :)
Anyway I will be in Oregon from July 6th until July 13th, which is Friday to Friday. I was hoping to be able to organize a get together with my dad's side of the family on Sunday July 8th, if possible. But during that week I will be doing Venture Camp at New Vision Fellowship. I should be done by late afternoon so if people want to get together in the evenings that is fine too.
I do have a job this summer so I know that getting vacation isn't going to be super easy. Although I am contemplating coming to Oregon for a long weekend or something if I can afford to. When though I'm not sure maybe sometime in June??? Any ideas, let me know! Also I'm thinking about making a trip out to North Dakota to hang with my aunt, uncle and cousins for a while, they don't know about it yet... :) Although there is ALWAYS an open invitation to anyone that wants to come and visit me! I live in a pretty big house now but there are tons of decent priced hotels around. And there's lots to do here in Fort Collins also!!
Well I should close this one cause I gotta go to work.
Also just a thanks to my parents for raising me how they did.

Yeah, titles???

I guess I'm not very good at the whole title thing, last time wasn't a deep pondering, oh well something to laugh about I suppose. I have decided that I will try and keep up with daily or every other daily posts. It will be a nice check system for me to make sure I'm processing life. A thought of the day.... you never really know just how much you miss family until you realize that you can' t just go hang out with them when you want. Not to mention you can' t be there for the little things that happen everyday or for the big battles when they need you on their side. Even though I am no where even close to graduating yet, I still am constantly thinking about what I will do once that crossroad is here. Seeing as how I still have to make it through sophomore year, no decisions will be made anytime in the future. Basically what I'm getting at is I miss home, I miss the craziness of taking kids where they need to go, work, school, church and friends. For some reason I miss it a lot. My life is much less hectic, well at least in the physical sense. Now I just have me to worry about, and after two years, it is still weird. I guess I don't even know my reasoning for posting this, I just felt that I should. Mom and Dad if you read this I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive my stupidity, I shouldn't have said anything, it's not my place.
Well I shall close for now because I need to finish my homework and get to the bank before class. More will come tomorrow. Ciao!

A deep pondering...

So, I caved in and decided to do my own blog. My thoughts on this are that hopefully it will encourage some communication with my family, and to get feedback or input on things going on in my life or things I think about... Ya know the kind of ideas you should bounce off your friends... So I suppose an update on me is in order...
Last two weeks of school are here!! yippee!!!
I have moved into a house with some friends, which is wonderful compared to where I was living.
So far I have all A's, an accomplishment that I have yet to achieve in my lifetime.
The past few weeks have been pretty hard on me.
I think that I've done something that I shouldn't have.... and I'm not a person who regrets anything.
So here's the first one, hope you enjoy!
There will be more to come!